Archive for the ‘tv’ Category

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super bowl commercials

February 3, 2009

i am a sports purist. i hate big games if only because of all the drama and pageantry.  i don’t see the point of pre-game, half-time, and post-game concerts.  i find the need for having half of the former players and every photographer in the u.s. at midfield for the coin toss asinine.  i loathe the crowd that is brought on to the field to jump around for the concert-dejour in hopes that i’ll be fooled into thinking that i am at a concert instead of a football game.  generally speaking, i just can’t stand anything that consumes your attention and detracts from the significance of the game.  i understand that the nfl does all of this to try to bring and capture the attention of those who otherwise would not care about the game.  i understand that there are millions that watch the game just for everything else besides the game.  i also understand that i’m never going to be able to change it, but i just want a game.  give me a good game (and i got one this year!).  if the millions that would rather be at a broadway show don’t watch it, so what?  it’s a football game.  if they don’t want to watch it, fine.  they don’t have to.

rant aside, there is one non-football aspect to the super bowl i enjoy:  the commercials.  before i go on i have to be clear about something.  commercial time is time to go to the bathroom or reload my plate/bowl/drink.  as great as the super bowl commercials are, they still take a backseat to gluttony (and that’s what dvr and hulu.com are for).  assuming my bladder is relatively empty and my plate is full, i truly enjoy most commercials.  the last several years have had a few good ones and a few bad ones.  this year was no exception.  my thoughts on some of the individual commercials follow.

top three:

1.  bud light – swedish conan.  quite simply, anything with conan is destined to be hilarious.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

2.  pepsi max – “i’m good.”  pain is funny.  pain several times is several times funnier.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

3a. monster.com – moose desk.  the guy is sitting in between the moose’s legs.  hilarious.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

3b. e-trade – baby with the golden pipes.  the baby pretty funny.  add another baby and use the phrase “golden pipes” and you’re in business.  good stuff.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

the bz honorable mention (in no particular order):

now for the commericals that were failures in my eyes:

  • castrol – grease monkeys.  i just don’t get it.  it wasn’t funny.  i’ve watched it several times and it’s just not funny.
  • coke commercials.  i thought these were mildly clever at best, but not overly entertaining or relevant.  a guy napping on a spring/summer day while bugs take his coke bottle airing while the midwest is stuck under a foot of snow and ice and most of the country is very cold.  it just doesn’t seem like the right time to air a summer time ad.
  • godaddy.com.  okay.  here’s the deal.  danica patrick is NOT hot!  she’s not.  period.  end of discussion.  here’s why people are sometimes fooled into thinking she’s hot.  sandwich her in between aj foyt iv and tony kanaan and yeah she looks pretty good.  but sandwich her in between heidi klum and marisa miller and she’s just another pretender.

pick the hot one and danica gets picked every time (except by mrs. foyt iv and mrs. kanaan)

pick the hot one and danica never gets picked.  ever.

danica is not hot.  please go daddy (and sports illustrated and the irl), stop trying to make her hot.

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kanye on snl

December 14, 2008

so i have snl on as background noise as i eat second dinner and catch up on some internet reading/surfing.

is kanye always this bad?  i’ve heard some really bad performers on snl before, but he is terrible.  wow.  i’m not sure what else to say.  i’ve really only seen kanye on tv twice – tonight and the most ridiculous live television performance ever:

i can’t get enough of watching mike myers and the look on his face as kanye deviates from the script.

also, speaking of fun comments on tv, an infomercial just started after snl.  they are featuring four actual coins with barak obama painting on them.  these things are always really lame, but this features some salesman and montel williams and they sound like they are ad-libbing.  almost no script, or at least they haven’t rehearsed it.  it’s just terrible.  they are really working to come up with some exciting reasons why you have to collect these.  they are excited about the hawaii coin because “many people don’t know that president obama is the first president born in hawaii.”  is there anyone who would want to collect obama anything that does not know that he’s from hawaii?

in montel’s intro i caught a line that i wish i could hear again.  he’s talking about history being made.  he’s trying to stress the historical significance of the election and he said something to the effect of “…for the privileged few who have been fortunate to go to a museum…”

apparently having visited many museums so far in my life, i have unknowlingly reached the elite level of “privileged few.”

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rosie o’donnell live

December 4, 2008

i saw yesterday that rosie’s attempt at the 70‘s style variety show bombed…badly.

that’s too bad.  i saw all the teasers for it over the three or four week period leading up to it and thought it looked very entertaining.  and seriously, anything that opens with a sketch with liza minnelli is sure to be a winner, right?  unfortunately i missed it due to…um…unforeseen circumstances.  see…my dog ate my remote and i can’t turn the tv on without the remote.

actually i had to work so i wouldn’t have been able to watch it anyway.  i can assure you, however, that had i been home, there is no way i would have watched that.

who pitched that idea and who was the network exec who said, “that sounds like a great idea!  that’s what network programming has been missing for the last 30 years.  retro is cool right now so what’s better than retro reality tv?!”  they should be fired…unless it’s jack from 30 rock.  he’s just dumb enough that he could find a way to get away with it.

i can’t get the fairly dumb insult out of my head – um…the 70’s called and they want their variety show back.

my prayer tonight:  please god, don’t let them bring rosie back for a second episode.