October 30, 2007

so my cousin has been charged with murder one. the closing arguments are supposed to be heard today. so in theory, we could find out as early as tonight whether he has been convicted and what the sentence is.

i should be sick to my stomach right now with worry. ash has been stressing, my brother (who is much closer to our cousin than i am) has been stressing, my parents have been stressing, and i’m not. if anything, i’ve been distant and cold. i don’t care to talk about it. i’m not too interested in finding out. is it cause i think i know how it’s going to end? maybe. i have spent my whole life making sure that i don’t waste time and energy worrying about things i can not control. now there is something that i can not control that merits worry and i’m not. i don’t know whether to be disappointed in my self or proud of my self.

eric, i pray for you and the rest of the family often.

what i’m reading:
the great upheaval by jay winik

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